04 November 2007

"God rocks even more than my Mom does" ~From my Journal

I bore my testimony in church today. I was shaking the entire time and I bawled. People were really moved by my sincerity. Tons of people thanked me afterwards and gave me hugs.

I was really, really nervous and for good reason. I started out saying that and then added, "I'm nervous because it's been almost two years since I've been at a pulpit. That's because I haven't really had anything to say. But I do now..."

I talked about the blessing my uncle gave which I realized mid-week last week set off this entire spiral back into faith and God and the gospel. It really was him. He came down for Conference and then came to visit me at work and he asked if he could give me a blessing, and then when he put his hands on my head he blessed me to know. To find the answers I've been searching for. I don't remember one single other thing he said, though the blessing was at least like 2 or 3 minutes.

Anyway, today was really good for that reason. And then I heard this song today and loved it:

Have you been here before?
Do you know the road I'm walking?
Have you been out here
When that cold north wind blows?
Can you promise me I'm gonna get to where I'm going?
I'll trust you now like I've trusted You before
But if I lose my way will You come find me?
If I forget who I am will You remind me?
It's a long, long road
And I'm not gonna make it on my own
Every time I try to make it through without You
If I lose my way, I stumble and I fall
Will You be my strength through the valley and the shadow?
Will You be there to answer when I call?
But if I lose my way will You come find me?
If I forget who I am will You remind me?
It's a long, long road
And I'm not gonna make it on my own
I've known dark nights
But there were stars
I've seen stormy days
But the sun was never far away
I've known loneliness and pain
But I've felt the peace of heaven
And the love of Your embrace

And if I lose my way
You will come find me
If I forget who I am
You will remind me
It's a long, long road
And I don't have to make it on my own.
And if we lose our way
He will come find us
If we forget who we are
He will remind us
It's a long, long road
And we don't have to make it on our own
But if I lose my way will You come find me?
If I forget who I am will You remind me?
It's a long, long road
And I'm not gonna make it on my own
~"If I lose my way" by Jericho Road.

I really love God and I love my church and I love who I am.

But more than anything, I think I love actually being happy. That's still really new for me, but so far, I love it. A whole whole lot.


Michael said...

I just want you to know that your testimony and recent changes are really inspiring to me. Far too often I've seen people go the other direction, so it's nice to have an example of someone increasing their spirituality and making constructive choices instead of destructive ones all the time. Thank you for sharing.

As a sidenote, I had the strange impression yesterday to bear my testimony. I didn't, because I was scared. I felt like I needed to talk about things that I didn't really want to announce to my entire ward. Maybe I should have though...

drex said...

It's a shame I detest Jericho Road - that sounds like a really awesome song.

I'm glad you're happy!

Sean said...

I bore my testimony too on Sunday. It was really good for me and I am really glad that it was good for you.

Testimonies are powerful for you and for those listening to them. Keep going strong! :)

Hidden said...

I've had that urge before too. The EQP asked me to teach in two weeks on "how trials give us strength" and I scoffed and looked at him (he knows) and was like, "so bascially you're asking me to come out to the entire elder's quorum? Awkward! No that's not his intent. Can I suggest something? Get up next time for sure, but instead of talking about you, focus on Christ. That's what the gospel's about anyway. Sure it's your experience in it but really if the focus is anywhere, it should be on God. So in my testimony yes I mentioned struggles, and hard times, but really? They don't need to know. I'm up there to talk about my convictions and gratitude toward God and His Son.

Yeah you should give that song a try. I actually like it. Happy? Yeah, me too. It's a really nice shift. And people keep commenting all the time to me about how different I seem. Love it!

You are my fav MoHo hands down. My strength is due in part to your example. Sure we are taking flak now and people won't agree with us, but -if I may be so bold- OUR HEARTS ARE RIGHT. I don't need anything else. I'm excited for your papers!

Recovering HoMo said...

Hey Buddy,
Thanks for letting me read this. Its inspiring to know that I'm not the only one wanting to choose the correct path. Hopefully there will be more of us in the future. Hugs. Kyle