My followers keep increasing, and I'm not even posting anything. LOL So I prolly ought to start again.

[insert section where I come up with inane, fundamentally flawed, drippy list of reasons I have not been blogging] Yeah, no. I don't feel like it today.

However, I will share one, for the sake of sharing. The biggest and best reason I haven't been blogging is that I'm happy (outwardly and generally).

I really am having an amazing summer.

Traveling, spending time with those I care about, and really just being myself. There are downs, rough spots, and times I think too much, but life should never be a glass-like lake with no ripples or movement.

My main source of pain right now is for those who feel trapped in less-than-desirable circumstances, or cannot wholly be themselves. I wish I had answers for how to help these people, but I really don't. I'm not Gandhi or Mohammed.

Beyond outward appearances and general happiness, there's what's really going on deep inside of me that I don't give my full attention everyday because it would kill me. I'm happiest when I'm not worrying about me and my life. LOL Aren't we all though? Like a new food rolled on my tongue so I can form an opinion, I'm mentally debating some very, very weighty and tough decisions. I've not blogged them because, to be frank, open, and completely transparent; I'm worried of the response I will get. My skin isn't as thick as I like to pretend it is, and despite the affront I offer, I do care what people think of me. I'll openly admit my hatred for judgment.

If I can work up the courage, maybe I'll let you into the abscesses of my heart and mind and just come clean with everything that I'm feeling and thinking right now...

All I have is words
To which I`m a slave
I scribble them down
Hoping they'll
Save me
But I'm lost
I'm so lost

These pages will burn
And I'll pass away
Yesterday's gone
And I just can't shake
The fact that I'm lost
I'm so lost

-The Classic Crime, Far From Home